


I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

by starryrosez



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 23:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16355966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryrosez/pseuds/starryrosez
Summary: The closer Keith gets to Lance the more in denial he is about his feelings.





	I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Klance Poetry Exchange for Dani. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> This fic and title are based off the poem "I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love you" by Pablo Neruda please enjoy!

Keith sits outside of Lance’s building on the bench drawing in his sketchbook. There are a million other things he should be doing right now, like working on his paper for his Philosophy class or trying to actually get a work out in but instead, he chooses to wait for Lance, knowing full well that as soon as his friend got out of class the two would end up doing something together, like going out for coffee or playing basketball together at the basketball court. 

 

His drawing begins to take form and Keith realizes what he’s drawing. He pauses for a second studying the replica of his friend before him, his laughter permanently framed in his art. It’s nowhere near as perfect as the real deal. Lance’s teeth are a little crooked from not wearing his retainers, and his freckles are scattered around his face and are not arranged perfectly like the Lance in the drawing. Even his hair is perfectly styled, which is the opposite of the real one who never brushes his hair right is constantly disheveled and yet still manages to look presentable. 

 

“What are you drawing?” speaking of the devil Lance slides in next to Keith on the bench and looks over his shoulder to peer at the drawing. 

 

Lance may be sly but Keith has sharp reflexes. He shuts the sketchbook closed and stands up gathering his things without so much as a glance at Lance as he answers, “Nothing.”

 

For a moment, Lance looks shocked, and a bit hurt before his normal sly smile returns. He stands up as well and wraps an arm around Keith’s shoulders, “That sure sounds like nothing, come on, you wait for me to get out after class and you won’t show me what you’ve been doing? It’s not like I’ve never seen your art before Keith.”

 

Keith shrugs Lance off of him, fighting the heat that rises on his cheeks as he replies, “I wasn’t waiting for you.”

 

Lance laughs in response, “Okay, so there’s a new bubble tea shop across town, want to check that out?”

 

Keith nods in reply ignoring the fact that Lance’s arm is around him once again as Lance continues to talk about his day. He ignores the butterflies in his stomach and pretends to not notice Lance loving gazes geared towards him the entire way to the bubble tea shop. And when they settle down with their drinks, sitting by the window overlooking the street, Keith refuses to make eye contact and hardly reacts when Lance brushes his fingers against Keith’s. Despite his best efforts, his heart still keeps a beat everytime they touch and his cheeks redden.

 

-

 

“Love,” the girl next to him sighs dreamily, running her fingers across the table and absent-mindedly forming hearts, “I wish I was in love with somebody.”

 

“Don’t we all?” her friend asks, looking up from her phone. 

_ Don’t we all? _ Keith repeats in his head. Immediately Lance’s smiling face emerges. He remembers his friend’s face in full detail as if he’s right in front of him. From the freckles splayed across his cheeks to the little acne scars running along his hairline, Keith sees it all on this imaginary Lance. A daunting question comes onto Keith. 

 

_ Am I in love? _

 

Keith shakes his head. The image of Lance dissolves as quickly as it appeared. He couldn’t possibly be in love with Lance. Sure the two were close friends but they fought all the time and Lance is a dumbass. A handsome, caring dumbass but a dumbass nonetheless. 

 

Keith feels his cheeks burn at the fact that he had just called Lance  _ handsome _ . But that doesn’t mean anything right? Lance always calls Keith handsome offhandedly so this couldn’t be anything different right? Just because he  _ finds _ Lance attractive doesn’t mean he is actually attracted  _ to _ Lance. 

 

“Hey,” Lance interrupts Keith’s thoughts as he takes the seat next to Keith’s. 

 

Keith turns to his friend who has already began taking out his laptop and notebook.

 

“I have a math midterm tomorrow and I can’t afford to fail it,” Lance says.

 

“I know, I’ve been helping you study for the past two weeks,” Keith replies as he opens his own textbook, “It’s a good thing I’m getting paid for this.”

 

“It’s a good thing this school offers students free tutoring.”

 

Keith shakes his head fighting off the smile that’s starting to form, “C’mon you have to focus if you want to pass your midterm.” He points to a problem, “Try this.”

 

Lance picks up his pencil and presses it against his mouth, an endearing habit he has when he’s deep in thought. As the pencil touches the paper and he begins to write, he pauses and turns to Keith, blue eyes sparkling enthusiastically. That smile he has is so contagious Keith can’t help but mirror it. 

 

“If I get an A, will you take me to the ice rink in your hometown?” Lance asks hesitantly. 

 

Keith catches the light blush that creeps Lance’s cheeks as he asks. It feels he’s being asked out. Keith feels his own face heat up as he answers, “Get back to work Lance.”

 

“But, is that a yes?” 

 

“Sure.”

Lance probably won’t even get an A. Sure he’s improved a lot since it’s first started but there was no way he could an A on that midterm. Lance just didn’t have that capability. 

 

The next week when Lance texts him with a smiley face a messaging saying ‘so about that ice rink’ and a screenshot of his 90% on his math midterm, Keith resigns to his fate. 

 

_ It’s not a date _ , he tells himself. And he’s certainly not in love with Lance. 

 

-

 

As promised, Keith takes to Lance to the ice rink in his hometown. The only reason Lance has been wanting to go to it so badly is because Keith told him about the christmas there during the holidays and the ever romantic Lance just had to go see it for himself despite alreeady seeing it in the pictures Keith showed him.

 

The funny thing is, Lance doesn’t even know how to skate. As soon they get onto the ice Lance is clinging onto the wall, holding on for dear life. 

 

Keith laughs at the sight. He’s never seen Lance look so vulnerable. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you can’t skate?” Keith asks Lance.

 

“Because I didn’t want to embaress myself in front of you,” Lance grumbles.

 

Keith claps sarcastically in response, “Well you’re doing a great job now.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“C’mon, let’s get you away from the wall and closer to the tree,” Keith offers his arm to Lance, “I promise I won’t let you fall.” 

 

Lance stares at Keith in awe for a few seconds before smiling and taking his arm. Keith guides Lance away from the wall and tells Lance how to skate.

 

“Back and forth, left foot, right foot,  just let yourself glide across the ice.”

 

Lance follows his instructions and after three almost-falling attempts, Lance gets the hang of it. Keith takes it as his opportunity to let go of Lance and see what he can do without Keith as his support. As soon as Keith pulls away Lance turns to Keith in shock. 

 

“Wait!” Lance reaches out to Keith but he skates just out of Lance’s reach, “I’m not ready on my own yet!”

 

Keith shakes his head pointing to Lance’s feet, “You haven’t fallen yet.”

 

Lance looks down, seeing himself still skating across the ice and not with his ass on the ground.

 

“Skate towards me,” Keith holds out his hand.

 

Lance smiles as he picks up speed and takes Keith’s hand, “Keith, I’m skating!” he enthusiastically shouts. 

 

The look of pure joy on his face makes Keith’s heart skip a beat and his cheeks redden as he unconsciously smiles at his friend, “Yeah you are.” 

 

Their eyes meet and time seems to slow down as their faces inch closer and closer together. Right before their lips can collide, the two abruptly slam into the wall. In a dazed state, Lance begins to fall backward but Keith manages to shake off the shock and pull Lance back in time. Once Lance gets over the initial shock, he begins to laugh, Keith, on the other hand, is frozen his mind still processing what had just happened. 

 

Was he going to...? Keith keeps on replaying the feeling of Lance’s hot breath against his skin, just a split second away from connecting his lips to Keith’s own. 

 

Noticing that something is wrong, Lance frowns and takes Keith’s hand, “Are you okay?” 

 

Keith snaps back to reality and meets the eyes of Lance that are currently filled with worry and concern. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Keith says pulling away from Lance, “I have to go.”

 

“Wait, what’s wrong?” Lance’s grip on Keith tightens preventing him from running away, “Did I do something?”

 

“No,” Keith replies, “It’s none of that.”

 

“Keith, please tell me what’s wrong,” Lance begs, “Is it because we almost kissed? Do you not like me in that way?”

 

“No, no I do!” Keith immediately responds, “I mean I  _ don’t _ , but I do, I, just please leave me alone.”

 

Keith pries Lance off of him and rushes out of the rink, his mind jumbling with his thoughts. 

 

_ Do you not love him, or are you afraid to admit you love him? _

 

-

 

**10 missed calls from Lance**

 

**_“Hey Keith, I’m sorry about today I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. I thought the two of us were on the same page and I guess we weren’t. Call me back, okay? I’m worried about you and I don’t want to toss away what we have over a stupid mistake.”_ **

 

**Message deleted.**

 

It’s been a week since the incident at the rink. Keith hasn’t talked to Lance since then. He’s avoided his friend at all cost and has ignored all messages from him. He’s just not ready to talk about the situation with Lance yet. He doesn’t think he ever will. 

 

Which is why the first thing Keith does when he spots Lance waiting for him outside of his classroom after a week of silence is run away. 

 

“Hey!” Lance calls out chasing after Keith, “We need to talk!”

 

“Can’t right now, I got class!” Keith replies.

 

“Yeah, not for another two hours!” 

 

Keith pauses and Lance skids to a stop panting. 

 

“Please,” Lance says between breaths, “Stop running away.”

 

Keith crosses his arms and averts his eyes away from Lance, “What do you want?”

 

“Tell me the truth,” Lance steps forward and takes Keith’s hand, “Do you like me or not?”

 

Lance’s eyes are filled with love and sincerity as he asks Keith the question, eagerly waiting for Keith’s answer. 

  
Keith sighs, “I do.”

 

Lance smiles, “Okay, great, I feel the same way.”

 

“But I can’t be with you,” Keith adds.

 

“Why not?” Lance asks, “I mean, I completely understand if you don’t want to be in a relationship with me but I don’t want you to reject me if it’s because something dumb.”

 

“I…” Keith opens his mouth to come up with an excuse but nothing comes out.

 

_ What is the hesitation? _

 

“Are you scared?”

 

“No!” Keith snaps, “I’m not!”

 

“Then what is it?” Lance’s hand rubs soothingly over Keith’s, “Keith please tell me.”

 

Keith sighs, “Okay, yeah, the truth is I’ve never really liked anybody as much as you before and I’m scared of fucking it up.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay to be scared, hell I’m scared too,” Lance cups Keith’s face, “But you don’t know that until you try, right?”

 

Keith nods, “Right.”

 

“So what do you say?” Lance says with a teasing glint in his eye, “Should we try that ice skating date again?”

 

“I got a better idea,” Keith says as he tugs on the collar of Lance’s shirt and pulls in him for a kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic follow me on [tumblr](https://starryrosez.tumblr.com) for updates on my other fics!^^  
> Thanks for reading! Comments are always appreciated! <3


End file.
